Being a parent today is not an easy job. There are conflicting demands on time and energy when both mothers and fathers are in the workforce and attempting to balance work and family life. Increasing numbers of single parents have the demanding responsibility of caring for children on their own and more families are confronting the complications of living in a stepfamily.

The increasing complexity of education and the uncertainty of future employment for young people add to the insecurity many parents feel about preparing their children for adulthood. The media, particularly television, extends children's knowledge and information beyond family boundaries and control.

Experts on child development, teachers, relatives and neighbors all have ideas on the best way to raise children. It is not surprising that some parents question their own competence, lack confidence in their parenting skills and feel threatened that their authority will be eroded.

Many parents take advantage of parent education programs offered by a variety of professional groups and organisations, but those who work with disadvantaged families feel that the parents who could benefit most do not sign up, perhaps because the programs are not seen to be accessible or relevant to their situations. They may also be afraid that what they perceive as their poor parenting skills will be exposed.

There has also been concern that parent education programs can undermine parents' confidence and increase their dependence on professional experts (Allan and Schultz 1987). Community education and outreach approaches are considered one way to counteract the negative connotations of parent education and to build on the research confirming the value of parent education programs in increasing parental competence.

As Edgar (1990) has said, all parents should have access to 'resources for parenting' to assist them in the complex task of rearing children. Parent education programs and resources can be crucial in preventing child abuse and family breakdown.

In response to a perceived community need to provide parent education that is directed at and relevant to disadvantaged families, the Commonwealth Attorney General's Department, through the Office of Legal Aid and Family Services, has funded the Family Skills Training Program under the social justice strategy umbrella.

Approximately $200,000 was made available in 199091 to four family services and marriage counselling agencies to offer pilot programs. In 199192, $500,000 was provided to expand the number of programs to six. A project officer was contracted by the Department to develop core materials for the program.

The result is a manual and video called Kids Need All the Help Parents Can Get. They promote the idea that parenting is an important, rewarding and often difficult task, one in which all parents can benefit from information, additional resources and skills, and the sharing of ideas while still confirming and supporting their competence as parents. Both the manual and the video incorporate information gained from the pilot programs.

The manual is presented as 'a collection of ideas and suggestions' focusing on developing an effective family skills component rather than a comprehensive program curriculum. Agencies selected to conduct Family Skilling Progams are assumed to have a parent education base to draw upon.

Sections include: Family Skills Group Work; Video Support Material; Other Resources (group energisers); Recommended Reading; and Overhead Transparencies (cartoons). Of particular interest is Wendy O'Brien's article, 'Making parent education relevant to vulnerable families', which is included in the Family Skills Group Work section. This article summarises the characteristics of vulnerable families which require distinct strategies and responses if parent education is to be effective.

Among the gaps in the manual's list for further reading is the Australian Institute of Family Studies' database, Australian Family & Society Abstracts, and its triannual magazine, Family Matters.

Several points are emphasised if programs are to succeed in reaching disadvantaged families. Personal invitation and contact with potential participants is critical, and transport and child care must be offered.

Group leader qualities are considered the most significant factor in maintaining the interest and momentum of the participants. The role of the group leader is to facilitate group dynamics, not to provide answers. Nevertheless, practical suggestions for solving immediate problems such as inadequate housing or violence towards and from children must be addressed if the participants are to find the program relevant and remain committed. Some evident successes at parenting among group members is necessary to avoid the tendency for homogenous disadvantaged groups to focus on problems and negative experiences.

Building on the strengths, successes and suggestions of group members encourages less dependence on the group leader, an issue of concern raised several times. Developing on going friendship and support among group members is an objective of the Family Skilling Program and can assist in the transition to independence from the formal group.

A variety of methods, settings and activities, including many that do not rely on verbal or written skills, are used in Family Skills Training Groups to expand self confidence, teach new skills and develop interests for the future. Bushwalking, massage, relaxation techniques, playgroups, dance, drama and, where feasible, residential programs are among the activities mentioned.

Underlying many of the strategies is an awareness, as expressed by O'Brien in the manual, that 'vulnerable parents, themselves frequently victims of child abuse, must heal some of their own past before being able to learn to use new approaches to parenting'.

Program leaders are encouraged to work in teams to lessen the stress that often accompanies working intensely with multi problem families.

While the manual may be a useful resource, it is the video that sets the kit apart from similar parenting guides.

The two mothers and one father whose experiences are featured give voice to the theme so aptly reflected in the title: the importance of fostering parental self esteem that can, in turn, be transmitted to their children. With honesty and poignancy, the mothers, particularly, express their fears about not coping, becoming angry at the children, 'wanting to run away', feeling resentful, trapped, isolated, and, above all, their desire to be a good parent and the high expectations of being a mother.

Understanding their conflicting emotions and learning strategies to handle their feelings better was very important to these parents. Again, for the mothers, permission to take care of themselves, to separate being individuals with needs of their own from being parents was a difficult but essential aim.

The difference having a car made to these families to be able to go on outings, to see friends and to combine work and family life was graphically demonstrated.

A sense of 'going it alone' as a parent with little support from husbands, partners or extended family was apparent in the women's conversations. A positive aspect was the unemployed father's obvious involvement with his children despite his traditional attitudes. While references to domestic violence occurred throughout the video, these were not addressed in the commentary.

The parents interviewed in the video describe their experiences with insights obviously gained from participation in a Parent Skilling Program. Participants should find it easy and unthreatening to identify with these parents in the video, who are seen in ordinary situations: a housing commission house, a playground, at the beach, in a school conference. There is no lecturing, just a sense of sharing feelings and fears and the hard work entailed in understanding oneself better and being a parent.

With a skilled leader, this video and ensuing discussion should capture the imagination and interest of participants and create a learning environment that is both encouraging and challenging on the path to positive parenting.

For further information about the manual and video, write to the Assistant Secretary, Mr Bryan Fernando, Office of Legal Aid and Family Services, Robert Garran Offices, Barton 2606 ACT, or phone (06) 250 6853.

References

• Allan, J. and Schultz, C. (1987), 'Parent education: developments anddiscrepancies', Australian Child and Family Welfare, Vol.12, No.4.
• Edgar, D. (1990), 'Mixed Messages About Children', Family Matters, No. 27, November.