Introduction

For children and young people growing up in divorced or separated families, ICTs offer a way of maintaining contact with parent/carers and enhancing parent–child relationships (Russell et al., 2021; Smyth & Fehlberg, 2019). ICTs include hardware (such as mobile phones or computers) and software (specific app or program types enabling email or video calling) and are used to communicate, share information and maintain social relationships (Baude et al., 2023). 

Post-separation contact between parents and children often entails custody or residential arrangements where children split their time between parent/carers and may physically spend more time with one parent/carer than another. Hence, contact through ICTs, whether it be phone calls, video calls or text messages, is an important form of communication and relationship maintenance (Holt, 2016; Smyth, 2005). ICT use may be especially important when separated parent/carers live in different locations and/or children have longer periods of absence from one parent or carer.

In the context of post-separation, children commonly use ICT to communicate with both parents (not only with the non-resident parent) (Saini et al., 2013; Saini & Polak, 2018). Parents also commonly favour ICT as a method of communication between children and/or the other (non-resident) parent (Dworkin et al., 2016). 

For child and family practitioners planning intervention strategies that aim to enhance parent–child contact and communication, it is essential to understand the role of ICT use in post-separation communication between children and separated parent/carers. This can include knowing what digital technology types are commonly used to maintain contact and parent–child relationships and specific issues associated with such forms of contact in the context of post-separation contact. 

This article summarises the findings of a systematic review by Baude and colleagues (2023) of studies that focused on technology facilitated communication between parents and children. Baude and colleagues (2023) reported on the use of a range of device and technology types, including email, texting, instant messaging, web cam or video conference, and the sharing of photos. 

Their review synthesised findings from 11 studies that were undertaken between the late 1990s and 2020 and focused on communication in 2 contexts: parental separation and child placement in foster or substitute care. For this resource, we focus on their review findings of 6 studies that dealt specifically with communication following parental separation. These studies were conducted in Canada, the USA and the UK and included children and their parent/carers and professionals (legal and mental health).

What is the nature of the evidence base for ICT use after parental separation?

Despite the growing interest in ICT use in family research studies, it remains an emerging field in the context of parental separation. Baude and colleagues (2023) identified only 6 studies on ICT use after parental separation that were suitable for review. These studies were all different in their definitions of ICT, study designs (i.e. they used a mixture of qualitative, quantitative and mixed methods), and their dates of publication. They also varied in relation to participants’ characteristics and whether they focused on children, resident or non-resident parents and/or professionals.

The studies also differed in the technology explored; while some looked at general ICT use across a range of technologies, others had a more specific focus on ‘video-assisted visitation’, ‘virtual presence technology’ (e.g. video calling platforms such as Skype and FaceTime) or simply phone calls. 

The types of interactions they explored also varied, in part depending on the technology they examined. This technology could influence whether interactions were in real-time, instant and dynamic conversations between parent and child (called synchronous communication) or ‘asynchronous communication,’ which did not require either the parent or child to communicate in real time (e.g. text, audio, photos or video). 

What does the research evidence say about ICT practices and preferences?

Despite the variations in the way the studies of ICT were designed – overall, the evidence suggested that parents and children are active and dynamic users of ICT for parenting and/or family communication and are selective in which tools they use.

Baude and colleagues’ (2023) review also showed an evolution in the ways that families use communications technology. In particular, they showed a move to greater use of online communication. Some studies from the early 2000s found that parents and children most commonly used the telephone to stay in touch over distance (although the frequency of contact varied greatly). At the time, videoconferencing was considered a promising alternative that might overcome the challenges of audio-only communication and bring a greater sense of closeness and intimacy (Yarosh et al., 2009).

More recent studies noted the greatly increased use of mobile phones – especially instant messaging and text messaging – and online technologies for communication between parents and children (Dworkin et al., 2016; Wolman & Pomerance, 2012). In particular, it was noted that there was a marked increase in the use of video communication technologies (also called Virtual Presence Technology (VPT)) as a means of parent–child contact in the post-separation context, and that many parents favoured it as an adjunct to regular physical contact (Birnbaum, 2020; Saini & Polak, 2018; Wolman & Pomerance, 2012). Even by the early 2010s, the average time spent on VPT contact between parents and children was greater than time spent on the telephone (32 minutes vs 8 minutes) (Wolman & Pomerance, 2012). 

Baude and colleagues (2023) also noted one study that found that parents tended to use different technologies for communication with their children than they did for communication with the child’s other parent (Dworkin et al., 2016). Parents reported that when communicating with their children they preferred more intimate forms of communication, such as video calling. However, the same parents usually preferred tools without visual or audio features – such as email and text – when communicating with the other parent. Avoiding direct or face-to-face communication, or verbal phone conversations, could allow parents to discuss more easily child-related issues that could potentially create conflict or discomfort. 

Whatever the technology platform, Baude and colleagues (2023) noted that virtual parent–child communication could be either ‘transitional’ (meaning it was used as an adjunct to in-person visits) or used as a replacement for physical contact for families with limited opportunities for in-person visits. 

Although communications technologies could allow for contact that might otherwise be difficult, some parents and young people also noted that it could be distancing or even distressing – especially when it was the only form of communication. Because virtual contact did not allow for the same depth of interaction as face-to-face contact, and obviously could not include physical affection such as hugging, it could negatively affect feelings of attachment or even reinforce the pain of being physically apart.

What are the benefits and drawbacks of ICT use?

Baude and colleagues’ (2023) review documented the potential benefits and challenges of using ICT for communicating with children after separation. These were broadly in 3 areas:

• support for family connections
• factors inherent to the devices used 
• safety concerns.

Support for family connections 

Most children, parents and professionals had a broadly positive view of ICT use for communication post-parental separation. The perceived benefits of this form of remote communication were that it: 

• made it possible to stay connected despite physical separation or geographic distance
• allowed for more frequent contact outside of shared custody or visitation times
• helped maintain an emotional bond
• provided psychological and emotional comfort to young people by allowing for immediate contact with their family
• made it clear to children that either parent could be accessible whenever the child needed
• allowed non-residential parents to continue to play a role in children’s everyday lives via ICT, especially when they had little face-to-face contact
• provided a way for parents to remind their children that they cared about them and their wellbeing
• allowed family members to have safe contact and communication when there was a history of abuse or a high-conflict separation
• increased the child’s sense of safety (and the parent’s sense of their child’s safety) by protecting them from in-person contact with a parent where there remained a safety concern (e.g. where a child had previously witnessed or experienced abuse). Use of ICT could also help rebuild trust and connection to the other parent (where appropriate). 

Factors inherent to the devices used

Because the studies included in the review covered a wide time period, they showed how family perceptions of ICT use evolved over time as technology facilitated communication became more convenient and new forms became available. 

For example, in a study conducted in the 1990s, when internet use and social media were less common, separated fathers described telephone conversations as artificial and a frustrating way to communicate with children. However, later studies showed that parents and children had come to value being able to use technology to communicate face to face and/or with visual media because it allowed them to: 

• see and show each other things 
• engage in shared activities, such as doing homework together, telling bedtime stories, playing games and taking part in birthdays or other social events
• develop more intimate, continued and engaging parent–child interactions.

Baude and colleagues (2023) also noted some challenges in using ICT for parent–child communication. The cost of ICT devices and/or of data for internet-enabled devices (e.g. mobile phones) could be a barrier to use as could the availability of reliable or high speed internet connections in some rural and remote areas. 

Safety concerns

Despite the perceived advantages of using ICT for parent–child communication, parents and professionals participating in the studies reviewed by Baude and colleagues (2023) also described the ways in which these forms of communication could pose risks to family and child safety and/or exacerbate conflict. This was particularly the case where there was a dispute over child custody or continued conflict between parents after separation. Concerns and identified risky situations included: 

• the use of ICT by one parent against another by, for example, tracking or following their child and/or co-parent’s online activity through social media and using it against them directly or within court proceedings 
• parents attempting to limit or prevent virtual child contact with the other parent by claiming that the technology is not working or that the kids are unavailable or unwilling to communicate – for example, saying that ‘the kids don’t want to talk’, ‘I have made other plans for the children’ or not making the child available at the designated time
• a concern that although online contact reduced physical safety risks, the remaining risk of verbal and emotional harm to children when they have an abusive parent or there is high conflict between parents
• the potential challenge of confidentiality and security of information. Some children were reported to be hesitant about sharing meaningful information and having open communication with one parent while staying with another because that parent might overhear the conversation. Having a private space for communication was potentially important for maintaining confidentiality.

What are the practice implications of the research on ICT use?

Baude and colleagues (2023) observed that professionals working with children and families commonly lack training and specific guidelines for supporting children and parents in their use of ICT. In particular, they noted that professionals lack guidance when considering the following issues:

• What are the risks and benefits for the child of ICT facilitated communication with a parent?
• What age is appropriate for a child to have a tablet or smartphone?
• Who is going to pay for communication devices?
• Who will be responsible if there is inappropriate use of communication technologies?

Baude and colleagues (2023) provided some general recommendations that may be useful for practitioners (including legal and mental health professionals) working with children and families who are seeking to foster a child-centred approach and enhance parent–child relationships after separation:

• Consider family ICT use when evaluating family dynamics and planning intervention strategies. For example, parenting or childcare plans could include consideration of the use and role of ICT to enhance parent–child contact.
• Consider the potential advantages of using features of ICT such as visual and real-time interactions – for example, for conducting shared activities between parents and children online.
• Discuss key considerations for ICT use with parents and/or other professionals. These might include the level of autonomy granted to the child in their use of ICT, the method of online contact to be used, costs associated with the use of technology and the level of monitoring required to ensure child safety.
• When deciding whether to include the use of ICT in parenting plans, consider factors such as the child’s age and developmental stage, the availability of technology for both parents, the degree to which ICT use is child-led and focused on child needs (i.e. rather than it being to meet parent desires to, for example, obtain information about the other parent), the distance between homes and the level of conflict between parents. 
• It is important for parents and/or professionals to recognise that ‘digital contact’ may be impossible to control once a child has a smartphone. To help maximise the benefits, and minimise any perceived harms related to the use of digital contact, service providers and professionals can help facilitate discussions between the young person and a range of people important to them (e.g. peers, parents, professionals) about the appropriate and safe use of ICTs.¹

About the review this article is based on

This article is based on the review by Baude, A., Henaff, G., Potin, E., Bourassa, A., Saint Jacques, M. C., & Noël, J. (2023). Information and communication technology use among children separated from one or both parents: A scoping review. Family Relations, 72(2), 601–620.

The review identified and summarised studies published between 1997 and 2020 that reported on ICT usage and patterns, benefits and drawbacks of ICT use and practice implications where children, parents and professionals were included as participants. Data were extracted from a total of 11 studies covering 2 contexts: parental separation and foster care. Of these, only 6 studies were covering parental separation and are summarised in this resource.

¹It is important to note that, in general, digital technologies simultaneously present opportunities and challenges for young people. The appropriate use of social media by young people – and how this relates to their wellbeing – is a subject of much public discussion. See the ‘Further reading and related resources’ section for some work on appropriate technology and social media use.