'Friends, in contrast to kin, are chosen. The sense of self we develop in childhood, and the identifications we make, are crucial in our later choice of friends. At the same time, friends may have a powerful effect on the development of a satisfactory sense of self, yet only in fairly recent times has the role of friendship in our lives been the subject of detailed enquiry'. This article reports on findings from the Becoming Adult Study, a study of 138 23-year olds conducted by the Australian Institute of Family Studies. Issues addressed by the study include: men and their friends, women and their friends, cross-sex friendships and calling on friends for help.