Audio transcript (edited)

DR MANDY TRUONG: Welcome everyone to today’s webinar on how to support positive peer relationships among young people in online spaces. My name is Mandy Truong and I’m a member of the Child and Family Evidence Team here at the Australian Institute of Family Studies. I would like to start by acknowledging the Wurundjeri, Woiwurrung and Bunurong peoples of the Kulin Nation who are the traditional owners of the land in Naarm, Melbourne where I’m speaking to you from. I also pay my respects to the traditional owners of country throughout Australia, and recognise their continuing connection to lands and waters. We also pay our respects to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures, and to elders past and present. I also wish to acknowledge all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people tuning in. 

Before our discussion I’ll just do a little bit of housekeeping. There will be a live Q&A towards the end of this webinar, so feel free to submit your questions in the GoTo Webinar dashboard. The webinar will be recorded and will be available about two to three weeks after today. And if you wish to be notified of when this is available, please subscribe to our AIFS newsletter, or keep an eye out on our AIFS webinar page. There is a handout section on GoTo Webinar in the control panel which has a list of related readings and resources. And also there’ll be a short feedback survey which will open up at the end of the webinar, and if you have a few moments we’d love it if you could fill that out. 

Well, today’s topic is about supporting positive peer relationships among young people in online spaces. We are focusing on the middle years of adolescence, 18 to 14 years of age in particular, when young people begin to start spending more time with their friends and less time with their parents, and this also includes spending more time interacting with their peers online. There are concerns among some parents and some people who work with young people that online experiences have negative impacts on young people’s mental wellbeing and relationships. However, young people are undeniably growing up in a digital age, and being online is a part of life. Research shows that there’s a strong association between peer relationships and mental health in the middle years, that is positive peer relationships are linked to positive mental health. 

Therefore people who work with young people and parents and carers have a really important role to play in encouraging and supporting positive peer relationships which then will also promote positive mental health and wellbeing. We recognise this is a pretty big topic, however the webinar will not go into depth on issues related to cyberbullying or harassment. However, our handout includes places where you can go for more information on these topics. So we are really lucky to be joined by three panellists today to help us understand this topic in more depth. Their full bios can be found in the handout section of the GoTo Webinar dashboard, but I’d like to welcome Dr Riley Scott, Casey Thorpe, and Hue Dwyer. 

Dr Riley Scott is a lecturer in the School of Psychology and Wellbeing at the University of Southern Queensland working in areas of social, cyber and developmental psychology. Her research focuses on understanding risks and protective factors for youth wellbeing and development in the digital age. Casey Thorpe is the service coordinator for Anglicare Southern Queensland’s Family Mental Health support service, and is dedicated to providing care and guidance to empower young people facing mental health challenges. And last but not least we are joined by Hue Dwyer, a Year 8 student who is here today to provide a young person’s perspective on this topic. Thank you so much for being part of this panel. 

All right, let’s get into the first question for today. Let’s discuss what we mean by online peer relationships given our diverse audience and our diverse backgrounds. How might they be different from offline peer relationships and how might they be the same? Let’s start with you Hue, what are your thoughts? 

HUE DWYER: I think that online peer relationships are relatively similar to offline peer relationships in respect that you are talking, usually, to a real, physical person, and that you need to use similar etiquette that you do in offline interactions like kindness and respect. I think they’re pretty much the same but in a different format, say on social media through comments sections or DMs. But it’s basically – it is talking to a real person. But being online is also very different in the way that you can really pick and choose who you want to interact with. This could be people that share the same interests as you, people that you don’t really talk to in real life, or people that you just think they’re interesting. And this could be because you don’t like talking to people in real life, or because you prefer talking to people online. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Great. Can you provide an example where you’ve interacted with people online that you might not have met in real life? 

HUE DWYER: I have a really close friend that I started talking to through TikTok, and she is now a real life friend in my school, and I don’t think I would've talked to her otherwise if I hadn’t commented on her TikToks or DM’d her or sent her videos. So I think it’s really helpful for expanding your friendships. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Fantastic, thank you for that. Casey, I’m keen to hear your thoughts. Do you think practitioners and others who work with young people quite understand what online relationships look like and how important they are to young people? Perhaps there might be a gap in practitioners’ knowledge about peer relationships in online spaces compared to offline?

CASEY THORPE: Thanks Mandy. That’s a great question. And firstly I’d just like to acknowledge Hue for her bravery for being here, I think that’s really amazing and we should all be really grateful for her sharing her experiences online with us today. I guess what Hue’s saying around young people having online friendships, definitely what she’s describing is what we’re seeing in practice. So these relationships could be an extension of peer relationships at school, or we do see people making new friendships online. I think that has really increased over time, and definitely within that age group of the eight to 14 year olds, we definitely see that. So a point that I’d make is we know that these online spaces are changing really quickly, and it can sometimes feel really, really daunting for practitioners and families to keep up with. 

So I think what’s really important for practitioners to remember I guess is that we’ve all grown up in different generations. Definitely parents and practitioners grew up in different generations, and technology wasn’t as available. So it can be hard for them to grasp how young people connecting in this way can be beneficial, especially because there’s so many stories out there that really speak to that worst case scenario. So it does create an overall negative outlook on the online world. But I think in saying that, we do need to remember that with young people, because they’re becoming so used to connecting in this way, it’s important for practitioners to understand that it’s going to happen, and it’s happening more and more. 

That does mean that we need to help our young people to really develop good interpersonal skills and boundaries, and to build that social resilience, not only face-to-face with their peers, but also in that online space. And I loved Hue’s description around remembering that there’s etiquette, and to be kind and respectful. But I’d also say that maybe what practitioners need to know is that those relationships are also equally valid for young people whether they happen online or face-to-face. I think that’s a really important thing to remember too.

DR MANDY TRUONG: Thanks Casey. Yeah, that’s a really important point, understanding that different generations have grown up in a different way, and to try and really understand how young people are experiencing their friendships and peer interactions whether online or offline. Thank you for that. Riley, bringing you into the discussion now, how do you think research at the moment considers online relationships versus offline ones? It’d be great to hear your point of view. 

DR RILEY SCOTT: Yeah absolutely, thank you Mandy. I’m probably going to touch on a few things that Hue and Casey have already talked about, because the way that we think about online relationships in research – and to give you a little bit of context, a lot of my research so far in my career has been specifically focused on how we develop and maintain our friendships in face-to-face and online contexts. So the way that we see this happening in the research is in three key ways really. The first way that we think about online relationships and interactions is where we actually developed or initiated our interactions with other people. So like Hue said, some of our relationships are initiated in face-to-face settings and then we interact with those friends online or offline. 

Some of our relationships especially among young people, and like Casey said, we’ve seen this happening more in recent years, is that the relationships are exclusively online. So what that means for the way that we approach these in research is that we really need to consider who young people are interacting with, and what we know from research is that for most young people most of the time they’re interacting with friends that they have met through school or in some other face-to-face setting. So there is a lot of concern, and I would as well like to reflect what Casey said in terms of how daunting it can be, how unknown the online environment or the internet and social media can seem.

And I imagine we have educators, parents, practitioners joining us today in the audience, some people will be quite unsure about and concerned about online interactions, and from a research perspective I would just like to highlight that the online space is typically seen as just another social context that we can really meet our social needs through. So another thing that we consider in terms of research and how we understand online interactions is like what Hue and Casey have already said, we look at the emotional intimacy in the relationships, the amount of social support or the perceived quality of the relationships that we have, the frequency of interacting with friends online and face-to-face. We know that online contexts are so accessible and there’s a lot of convenience in terms of interacting with friends there, so a lot of the time we are looking for those key qualities of relationships that we have with other people. 

The last way that we really think about online interactions is really to do with what the online environment has to offer as well. Some of the reasons that the online environment does seem a bit daunting and uncertain is because it is actually quite a unique social setting. There are specific features and affordances of the online environment that we just don’t get when we interact with people face-to-face. So I’m talking about things like reduced nonverbal cues where if we’re interacting purely over text we can’t read tone of voice, it’s a lot harder to imagine what somebody’s body language or responses are to our messages. That creates quite a distinct social environment. 

Another example of one of the features is that even if we’re interacting in what’s called instant messaging, a lot of the time our interactions aren’t actually happening in real time, so that gives people a sense of control over their interactions where they can spend a bit more time revising or crafting their response and really thinking about their self-presentation online. So those features and affordances of the online context really do have important implications for how our interactions online play out differently to how they happen in face-to-face settings as well. So those are the three main things that I would say that the research focuses on in this space. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Great, thank you. That’s a really thorough overview of quite an in-depth space, and I guess sometimes research might struggle a little bit to keep up with all the changes in technology and so forth, so that was really fantastic. Yeah, I’ve definitely been in a situation where I’ve DM’d or instant messaged someone and maybe the tone can be quite tricky to interpret. I’m sure a lot of us have been in that situation. And I really like the point you made about thinking about quality of relationships as well, so I’m really keen to understand a bit more about, from Hue in particular, what do you think a healthy online peer relationship looks like, and what have you experienced navigating that space, making sure things are healthy for you? 

HUE DWYER: I think it’s a lot about setting boundaries so everybody feels comfortable in the online relationship, and I think it’s also about making sure we are giving each other space and being understanding of each other, and it’s – yeah, something like that. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Great. Casey, do you have anything to add to that? Have you observed any particular things around people you and your team work with around an online healthy peer relationship?

CASEY THORPE: Yeah, I’d say what we want to be looking for is that that peer relationship is enriching our young person’s life. So it’s definitely going to look like a supportive relationship that’s safe, that the young person’s mental health is supported, and their overall wellbeing is better because of that relationship. So I think we’d be looking out, and practitioners would be looking out for that. And I think it’s just about making sure that that young person does feel that sense of belonging and connectedness in that online world. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Thanks Casey. Any further thoughts Riley about online relationships?

DR RILEY SCOTT: I think exactly like Casey and Hue have already said, to characterise a healthy online peer relationship for us in the research space it’s really about what characterises a healthy offline peer relationship as well. One point that I would like to reflect is that for young people in particular but also for many people our online interactions now are still considered part of our real life. So we are looking for respectful relationships, relationships that have a positive level of emotional intimacy, social support, shared interests and things like that. Really making sure, like Casey said, that the interactions and the relationships are adding value to young people’s lives. Much like we would consider the same to be healthy offline, I think we need to think about that online as well. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: That’s fantastic. Yeah, I think that’s really important to understand those fundamentals whether it’s online or offline, so really appreciate those insights. So now onto the next question, and we’ve established it a bit earlier on that it is really common for young people to be online so I’m really keen to understand a bit more what the benefits of online peer relationships are for young people, and how does that maybe impact or connect with their mental health and wellbeing? I’ll start with you Hue if that’s okay. 

HUE DWYER: I think it’s very important if – yeah, it’s quite important for young people to be online because as adults I think you probably have seen firsthand how quickly slang and trends and stuff move, and I think it’s important for young people to be able to catch up with all of that and be connected to it so that they can understand what people are saying in real life, because things that happen online can translate into real life. Most of our language is created and spread online, and it just really helps you connect to as many people as you possibly can. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: So people are less likely to feel left out if they’re keeping up with all the things that are changing in the lives of their friends and peers, is that what you mean? 

HUE DWYER: Yeah, and it’s easier to make friends and it’s easier to relate to people, and it’s just – yeah, it’s very beneficial for people’s mental health because they feel included, like they might belong somewhere and – yeah, it’s really beneficial for young people. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Great, thank you Hue. Pass over to you Casey, do you have any other thoughts on what you’ve seen from a practitioner point of view about the benefits of online relationships for young people? 

CASEY THORPE: I loved the way that Hue explained them speaking a different language because definitely that’s what we see from a generational perspective. I think a point that I’d make here too, just first of all there is some social expectations at play here, and Hue touched on that a bit that there is that language and there is that expectation that other young people will keep up with that. And I think a point I’d make there is that it can be quite isolating for a young person who isn’t connected in that online space, so they may feel that they’re not fitting in with their peers. So that’s just something to consider I think for practitioners to think about there. Because of that social expectation it is actually quite normal for young people to want to connect in this way and get that sense of connection and belonging with their peers online. 

So I think definitely what we’re seeing is young people who may have disengaged from mainstream schooling or may have some neurodiversity who find that it’s a great way to stay connected with their peers who they may not see every day anymore, and also for those children or young people with neurodiversity it’s a good way to communicate because it eliminates some of those socially anxious situations. In our work we definitely see the benefits for young people when they have those healthy interpersonal boundaries and they understand what’s okay and what’s not okay in a relationship. So I think what we see is when parents have those conversations with their young people about developing those relationship skills, and that’s always a good protective factor. 

But what we see is when that relationship is really positive and there is all of those things that we talked about previously around the safety and respect, there are positive mental health outcomes, just like with any relationship. So it’s not overly different. It’s a different platform, but it does also afford the same opportunities to have those benefits. So yeah, what I just think would be really important for practitioners and parents to know is that there is potential for that relationship to be positive, and that it could create more connectedness for them, and then therefore positive mental health outcomes. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: That’s great Casey. It just makes me think about my own situation, I’ve got two kids in this age group as well coincidentally, and I feel like it’s a balance and it’s really important to keep in mind these benefits rather than just perhaps focus on the negatives, or being worried and being concerned, but really remembering that these relationships have a lot of benefits for people to interact, be included, and having positive wellbeing impacts as well. So really appreciate your insight. Is that backed up by the research Riley of what you’re aware of, these links between mental wellbeing and online interactions amongst this age group and slightly older adolescents as well? 

DR RILEY SCOTT: Yeah, absolutely. What we really see in the research is that when young people engage intentionally on social media and on the internet with the purpose of maintaining and supporting their relationships, there are a whole host of positive benefits for them in terms of their mental health and wellbeing. One of the key things that I do encourage people to keep in mind when engaging with social media is really thinking about actively using it for your relationships. Social media are fundamentally social. If you use the tools and the opportunities online to connect there are real benefits for that, and we do see that playing out for young people. Young people outside of school obviously are actually now more likely to interact with their friends online on a day-to-day basis than they are face-to-face. So this is not something that will go away. 

Often I think when people think of safe or healthy internet and social media use they think of less use, but there is a lot more to it than that because young people and as adults as well we’re not just going to stop going online now. So like Casey reflected just before, in my research as well I’ve seen young people describing the internet and social media as a really convenient and easy way to maintain relationships if they’ve moved schools, if they’ve moved interstate, or in situations when it’s just a bit harder to see people face-to-face. I don’t want to bring up the pandemic, but that was a fantastic example in the last few years of how we all collectively really started to understand the potential value of online interactions for relationship maintenance. So young people are really actively involved in that space, and I think it’s very important to really understand and reflect that as well. 

A couple of other things that I would just like to touch on in terms of benefits, I think Casey, you already mentioned a little bit about some social vulnerabilities and things like social anxiety. We do see some real benefits for young people who are vulnerable in terms of things like experiencing social anxiety or even loneliness, when they interact online for their friendships they can feel more connected, practice those social skills and interactions, and then feel a sense of confidence moving off into face-to-face interactions as well. For young people who experience social or developmental vulnerabilities it is really important for them to find people with shared experiences, common interests, and like I said to practice social skills. So all of those things can be really beneficial for a sense of belonging and connectedness. 

And one of the last points I just wanted to make in terms of what the research shows is as we know teenagers and young people, they’re really grappling with identity development. So young people are asking all of those questions of who am I, and how do I fit into the world, and what can I contribute to other people, and like I said earlier the online environment is really a space that offers a lot of opportunities to explore those questions. So having a solid sense of self through adolescence really sets us up into adulthood to be functioning, well-adjusted adults with positive mental health and wellbeing, and using the online space to try on a few different senses of selves or to test out what feels like a good fit for young people can also really be beneficial. 

So there are a lot of benefits in the space that I think can be quickly overlooked when we think about the negatives. But there are benefits and risks, and it’s about supporting young people in achieving those. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Fantastic. That’s really positive and good to know that these experiences are backed up by the research. I actually wouldn’t mind coming back to Hue just quickly because Riley, you mentioned the pandemic. Hue, with the pandemic, how did you experience navigating the online space, and did you find any benefits from that as well? 

HUE DWYER: I remember being limited in my online use, like being on social media. Obviously I had to be online because of school and school work and stuff, but being on social media I was kind of limited. I remember we added each other to Google Slides and we talked on a Google Slide. So I think it’s important to give your child access to things, especially situations such as a pandemic, so they can connect with the peers that they have already made or make new ones so that they don’t feel so isolated.

DR MANDY TRUONG: Fantastic. I think what was pointed out about social anxiety, I think there is a bit of concern and views that that anxiety is increasing amongst young people, so knowing that there are options via online to actually help with those kind of situations is really good to know as well. We’ve touched on it a little bit, but there has been negative commentary, I guess we can all admit that or have all seen that about online interactions and how detrimental they are, and I think a lot of people from the audience are keen to understand and unpack this a bit more, and perhaps the negative commentary might take away from real life friendships. I’m keen to know what’s your experience been in this space Hue about negative commentary, and how to deal with those, and how maybe to protect yourself from that negativity. 

HUE DWYER: Wait, negativity as in actual negative content, or taking away from in real life relationships? 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Sorry, probably wasn’t being clear. Yeah, so having negative experiences online. 

HUE DWYER: I think it is relatively common, or it’s kind of inevitable to have some sort of negative interaction experience online, but I don’t think it should discourage young people or parents from letting their children go online because even if they do experience that it’s a good educational experience or a learning experience. I think it’s really important to educate children as they’re coming into the online world to find ways to handle it and how to discuss it with their guardians so that they can feel safer online and so that they can avoid it in the future, like blocking people, removing yourself from situations, just trying to prevent going onto a side of the internet you might not want to see. I think it’s really important – education’s really important. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: I think that’s a great point, understanding and knowing the strategies to put in place if there are negative situations happening. I’m just wondering have you experienced anything or your friends or peers, people you know of who have experienced a negative interaction that had to involve adults or other people? 

HUE DWYER: An example I can think of is there was this one time, this wasn’t me, this was some friends that I have, they were on this group chat on I think it was Snapchat, not anything against Snapchat, and there was some content on there that was being shared on this group chat that was really horrible, and people were feeling uncomfortable and unsafe on the online thing, and they brought it up with their adults. I think they took it to the police, like the police took the stuff down, did research on it, and they were given a speech at school, and just a lot of education to prevent it from happening in the future, and to make sure that they know that it is okay to talk about any negative interactions or experiences that you have online. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Do you think your friends learnt some important lessons from that kind of experience? 

HUE DWYER: Definitely to think about what you’re saying or doing online, and to think about whether it’s worth it to be in a space if you don’t feel safe or comfortable. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: I think they’re really good tips, and I think sometimes online interactions can happen quite quickly and things can happen without a lot of thought because we’re often reacting to stuff. So yeah, I think those lessons are quite good for all of us in general, so thanks for sharing that experience. Casey, I’m wondering what your team, you and your team have experience working with young people who might have had some negative situations when being online? 

CASEY THORPE: Thanks Mandy. My team work really closely with families and young people and we’ve definitely come across challenges for young people who are interacting with friends online. I guess what we think is really important and what helps with young people is to have that open communication with a trusted adult. So just to be able to have a space where you can open up and discuss your online relationships or interactions without being judged. And having that trusted adult to debrief with and have those conversations with is a really great protective factor because it allows that young person to be able to share that with somebody who can help. What we know is that when young people are validated and they’re heard by their trusted adult, their parent, caregiver, they’re more likely to receive guidance from them. So we know that to be true. 

It is natural for parents to react when they feel that their young person has been exposed to something inappropriate online, and I guess want to protect their young person by removing them from that environment or taking away devices and things like that. What I would say about that though is sometimes it can have some really unintended outcomes, one being that the young person may become more secretive around sharing information or – yeah, it could just create a bit of distrust. So what we really see is that when a parent is reactive and removes devices or takes away that connection, that young people do shutdown and they may start hiding things from their parents when they’re threatened at losing those devices and things. So we encourage having that open communication, having those conversations often.

They may look like sitting down with the young person once a week talking about what’s appropriate and what’s not appropriate, asking them about what they’re doing online, asking them about what they’re seeing online, asking them about what other people are posting and how they feel about it, does it sit okay with them, are they comfortable with these things, and it opens up a conversation to be able to support them to speak to you when something doesn’t feel right. It’s a little bit like the ‘Who’s your five’ idea, having all those trusted people who you can talk to when things are just not feeling right online. So we would encourage that that parents should always have those conversations. The other thing I think is really having that expectation of a young person as well that they will act appropriately online too. And setting up and having those conversations with them about what they feel is appropriate online, and that it’s on them as well to provide support and understanding to friends, it’s really important.  

So I guess what I’d also note is that families need to understand their young person’s maturity level, and what they’re capable of being exposed to online I suppose. So I think what a really good thing to do is is to jump on the e-Safety Commission website and have a look at all of that information. There’s so much information on there about what these apps are and what apps they’re using, and really just understanding that to help them stay safe online. I think parental controls can be really helpful as well, so there’s heaps of information on the e-Safety Commission about that too. I would just caution that no parental control will ever be a chuck it on and walk away kind of situation. You really need to be having those open conversations with your young person and making it okay for them to talk to you. 

And I would just say that as young people get older they do actually get quite savvy at getting around those parental controls. So although they’re really important to put in place, I think it doesn’t replace having a space to be heard about your experiences, and to validate your young person’s experiences and not discount them, because what they’re experiencing online can actually be very upsetting. So I think taking that time as you would in any relationship, whether it’s positive or negative, to really hear, hear them out, and give them a space to debrief about that.

DR MANDY TRUONG: They’re really great points, and I’m assuming that you don’t need to wait until they’re older, I’m thinking even younger children these days are able to have an age-appropriate relationship about being online and how that works for them. My youngest has had an – my kids have had an iPad for schoolwork since Grade 1, so I think your points about that open communication and establishing that early on is really important, so thanks for those insights. Riley, I’m just curious from the research perspective what have you found in your research and others as well? 

DR RILEY SCOTT: There’s quite a bit to talk about in this space of course. We do definitely acknowledge the risks of online engagement for young people, and I think something you touched on earlier Mandy I’d just like to go back to very briefly in terms of online interactions potentially taking things away from offline or real life friendships. What we’ve seen in some of the research that I’ve conducted with my colleagues back at Griffith University is that although like I said earlier for young people they are often interacting with face-to-face friends online, they still report and describe their face-to-face friendships to be – or their interactions with those friends to be more meaningful, more enjoyable, more tangible just simply because of that dynamic of actually being face-to-face with somebody. 

Whereas sometimes when you’re interacting behind a screen there is a sense of distance and there is for some of the young people a disconnect where they don’t feel as though they can be as close with their friends, or they may not really understand the consequences of what they might say. So those things in terms of interactions with close friends are really important to consider in terms of how we can support young people to engage in a way online that still makes them feel really connected to their friends and that allows them to have valuable interactions. Like we’ve touched on already, there are some other instances where there may be unwanted social contact online, or young people may see something that makes them feel uncomfortable, they might witness or be involved in cyberaggression or cyberbullying and – 

There are a lot of different experiences that could happen, but equipping young people with the skills to navigate them, and like Casey mentioned having really open conversations and supportive spaces where young people can turn to a trusted adult to talk about those is very important. Without having that there is the risk of negative experiences online being associated with things like anxiety and depression, as well as just fluctuations in mood and experiences of negative moods like frustration or worry. So those things are really important to keep in mind. But reflecting a little bit in terms of what we can do to support young people if they do experience negative things online or how to avoid negative experiences online is really to think about the skills that they have. 

I would never have driven a car if I hadn’t received any training in it, any kind of support from my parents that taught me how to drive a car. I think because the online environment, young people are growing up with the internet now but we really need to be careful not to just assume that they have the skills to navigate the online context. So actually providing support, like we’ve talked about and like Casey said, having conversations with them, checking in with young people to see what they are experiencing, how they feel about it, and if there’s anything that they want you to do gives them a sense of control over a situation, but also allows you to check in and see how they’re feeling and their general wellbeing as they’re going as well. 

So there’s a move in the literature now in terms of research towards understanding and supporting social media literacy development which is the skills and competencies for using the internet and social media that does maximise the benefits, but also minimises the risks. We have linked to the APA which is the American Psychological Association’s health advisory on social media use in adolescents, that’s in the handouts that you can download. There’s a lot of information in there about having conversations with young people as well, and on the e-Safety Commissioner’s website too about what can be done to really support those skill developments, and to help parents and give some practical guides in terms of actually having those conversations and providing that support. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Great. That’s fantastic to know that there’s some resources out there we could all use in the workplace as well as at home. That’s really fantastic to know that there’s research looking at being proactive about it and giving skills, which probably are just going to be life skills aren’t they, for young people of how to manage social media, but also relationships in general. So I think that’s really helpful and useful to know, thanks Riley. I was just wondering whether you all had any other advice on how we could better support young people to develop positive peer relationships in online spaces, and how families and people working with young people can encourage these positive relationships. Hue, I’m curious as to how you learnt to avoid these more negative situations, and from a young person’s perspective what can adults do better to help support yourself and your peers to have these more positive relationships. 

HUE DWYER: I sort of taught myself to navigate the online world, but I think it also helped to have people come into school and give you talks. Even though it can be a bit aggressive like, ‘Don’t go online’ and stuff like that. It can be a bit aggressive. But I think for adults educate yourself as well, and make sure you know what you’re talking about, and make sure you hear your child out so they don’t get secretive like Casey and Riley said. I think I just learned through bad experiences to not try and handle them really hands on or like, ‘Oh I’m going to say this or say that’, just remove yourself because they can’t really do anything if they’re online. That’s how it’s different to in real life. So I just think if you feel the need to remove yourself then do so because it can be safer and more efficient, and it can prevent you from seeing more of what you don’t want to see, or saying and doing more of what you don’t want to say or do. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Fascinating when you said you’ve learnt from more negative experiences, is there one that you might be willing to share that could shine a light on what’s happened and what you learnt from that? 

HUE DWYER: Okay, so does everyone know what Roblox is? So Roblox is like this online game where you can join different games and they’re all made by people that are in a community, and there’s an open chat where you can talk to anyone you want. And there are easy ways to parentally control that by turning off chats and stuff, but I was kind of unlimited in what I could say and who I could talk to. And there were people that I would meet and they’d go, ‘Oh my gosh, add me on this’ and I’d add them on that and they’d be like an adult. (I hope my dad can’t hear). But I just learned that some people are just messed up online, and if you are a part of that group then you can remove yourself from being part of that group really easily. So, like I said before blocking and – yeah, it is easy to get into those situations, but it’s also easy to prevent them from happening and to prevent them from going too far. So that’s that. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: So do you think it would help if adults or parents talked with their kids about warning signs or things where it’s like ooh, red flag kind of thing, is that what you mean? 

HUE DWYER: Yeah, teaching them not to trust everything that you see or everything that other people say, and just to be diligent and intuitive, and to question everything pretty much. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Okay, thank you Hue. Very wise words. Casey, what are your thoughts on how we can better support young people? 

CASEY THORPE: It’s really important, again I’m going to say, to encourage those positive relationships. I think that’s important in all aspects of life, but it’s really important in that online world as well. I think that’s definitely important. But in a practical sense I think what really does help, and I’m going to repeat myself again around having those frequent conversations, and it sounds like that’s happened for Hue. She knows how to keep herself safe online, she knows how to get out of those situations. So I think really creating or promoting a family culture where it’s okay to have those conversations, and helping your young person to notice those red flags, what is okay, what isn’t okay, what can we expect from people online, is it that different, we need to be respected, if we don’t want to see that there are ways to get away from that. so I think helping young people to understand the risks is really important, and to creating a safe space for young people to discuss it freely. 

Again I think it’s really important that parents understand their child’s maturity level as well. And there’s lots of apps that children and young people are on today that have age limits, there’s things you can look up and read about. So yeah, I think the potential for harm is obviously there, but those conversations, if they’re frequent enough, and if you’re helping your young person to really understand, it can mitigate those risks and it can help your young person stay safe online. I would recommend parents staying as involved as possible in those things. It’s interesting that Hue brought up Roblox. I have a Roblox account. There’s three young people in my house, so they’re all in this age group, so eight to 14. We all play Roblox together, so me and my partner both have an account. It’s something that we do as a family and we do it frequently. 

I think what helps is that we can see how they’re interacting online and we can see how others are interacting online, and it gives us an opportunity to have those conversations with them. So I think parents being involved in their online world is really, really vital. Whether it’s just sitting next to your young person whilst they’re playing, it’s about asking questions, it’s about really trying to understand what they are doing online. I think that’s really important to have a look into what they want to play or what they want to use, what sort of apps they’re on before you allow them to download it so that you can make that assessment about whether this is okay for them or their developmental age. I also think when young people are seeing inappropriate things, again it’s really, really – it is going to happen, it’s really important that they do have that safe adult to speak with. 

And it’s important to also have limits around these things. It’s so accessible and there’s no denying that. we have limits around our Roblox use. Like Hue was saying we don’t just allow our children to add anybody, they have to be somebody that we know, a friend from school, maybe a family friend, something like that. We have limits about how long they can spend on these things as well. So we definitely have those things in place. It’s important that you understand that because like Riley was saying earlier we cannot just assume that they know, and that they can navigate these things on their own. So I think that’s really important. And I think what we know is how when a parent has that online – that involvement in their young person’s online world we will see better outcomes. 

I read an article the other day on the ABC which was about a research project that was released from the e-Safety Commission again and it was around how young people and children actually want their parents to play with them online. So it’s a really interesting read. It creates an opportunity to be together as a family, and those open conversations are really, really important. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Great, fantastic advice Casey. That’s a lot of food for thought. Riley, just before we go into the live Q&A just wondering if you had any further advice to provide the audience on this topic? 

DR RILEY SCOTT: Yeah, absolutely. Again I’ll be repeating a little bit of information, but I can also add some extra insights into this. Research shows the open communication like we’ve touched on a couple of times already, setting social media limits and boundaries, and guidance from adults around the internet and social media use, these are the really top three predictors of positive outcomes online, including engaging in healthy relationships for young people. I think the setting social media limits and boundaries is quite an interesting topic as well. It does play in a little bit to what as adults we model to our young people. So if you’re saying to your young person, ‘You can’t be online at night in your bedroom’ yet you’re going and doing the same things, they start to wonder what is appropriate and when they can push the boundaries a little bit. 

So being really mindful of our own engagement with the internet and online interactions is very important to actually show young people how to engage in a really safe and healthy way. I think other things that particularly relate to positive online interactions is helping young people to identify what makes their face-to-face interactions feel positive and feel connected and feel really supportive, and helping them to identify how they might replicate that in the online environment, how they might maximise on the different opportunities that they have online whether it is directly messaging someone, whether it might be providing support through liking content or things for their friends, and actually how they can use those online interactions in a really positive way. Something that you touched on just briefly before Mandy was being really proactive in this space, and I think that’s really important to stay on top of. 

So being proactive in terms of helping and supporting young people from a young age. We know from research coming out in the States, in America that young people are engaging on social media platforms from the age of eight. So we need to be thinking about this from an early age, and being more proactive rather than reactive. Hue also mentioned having people come into school and talk about engaging in social media and saying, ‘Just don’t go online.’ I think avoiding scare tactics in this space is also really important. In my research in a project that we’re running at the moment I’ve interviewed a number of different teachers across different states in Australia, and the number of teachers that have reported that police will get a list of student names, look them up, come into school and say, ‘This is everything I could find out about you just from knowing your name.’ 

It's shocking how much that is the tactic that is relied upon, rather than actually showing young people, ‘This is how you can navigate your privacy settings, this is what it means to have communication with other people if you get into a situation where you feel like somebody you don’t know is contacting you’, all of those kinds of things are really important to be mindful of just in terms of the approach that we take for educating young people about it. So communication, education and support are really, really important, and like Casey reflected as well, actively engaging with young people rather than just putting on restrictions is really important. So of course set boundaries around use, and when is appropriate, where is appropriate, but actively engaging and actually having those conversations all of the time is what leads to a more open dialogue about when negative experiences may happen what happens next, or just sharing the positives as well because it can be a really positive, fulfilling space to be involved in. 

We’ve touched on things like the e-Safety website as well where there are a lot of resources. If you head directly to different social media platform websites, so say for example Snapchat’s already been mentioned today, you can find parental guides on how to actually set up those parental controls, and guardian guides on information about what to do and where you can take the next steps if something negative does happen, like recording the information or taking screenshots, and then where to go to report that and get the content taken down for example. So there is a lot of support, and I think it’s really important that as adults supporting young people in this space, we need to try and do what we can to also educate ourselves to really understand the platforms young people are using. 

Of course I think the platforms themselves need to be doing more in this space as well, but at a community and social level having the conversations, being aware and trying to understand our young people’s online experiences is really important. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: That’s fantastic. Really appreciate those insights and guidance and advice from all of you on this topic. I feel a bit more relieved that I have some strategies and actions that I can take in place for my own family and to share that with friends and other family members as well. So really appreciate that advice. That was really fantastic. So now we’re going to move onto the Q&A part of the webinar, and given the time we probably only have space for one or two. We have acquired a few questions come through the Q&A on the dashboard as well, so thank you very much for providing those. We will address some questions now, but we’ll go offline afterwards and answer some more questions later on, and that will be recorded and made available in about two weeks on our website. 

Okay, so the first audience question we’re going to talk about is sort of similar to what we’ve covered already about the need to balance privacy with monitoring safety, especially if the young people are in their own room with their pods in their ears and parents aren’t really able to monitor. Are things like online contracts between parents and young people useful? We’ve talked about parental controls, but I’m just wondering whether something like an online contract would be useful. Hue, have you ever used an online contract before or thought about those kind of things? 

HUE DWYER: Yeah. I’ve used online contracts at school for when we had iPads from Year 3 to Year 6, but they were a bit intrusive actually. They were like we can look through your photos and stuff like that and I was like whoa. But I don’t think you should go that far. Going through your kids’ chats and all of their social media, it doesn’t need to be that intrusive. It can just be like a check in or like a, ‘Are you feeling safe right now?’ And I think online contracts can be very useful, it could be like, ‘I will ask you questions, you can’t do this’, but things that are a bit more vague so that they’re not completely limiting their interactions, like stunting what they can do online. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: So how do you feel about having your parents be able to check in in that way? Is it something you can understand that is kind of needed from your point of view? 

HUE DWYER: I think it’s really important to make sure your kid is doing things that are appropriate and safe for their age and their maturity online. I think it’s really important for parents to monitor that. And I’m not even against taking a phone and having some downtime, or being away from screens or limiting screentime. I think it’s good to do that, just as long as you’re maintaining a level of privacy so that your kid doesn’t feel like their entire social life and their interactions with their friends is being exposed to people. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Great, thank you Hue. Casey, anything brief to add about online contracts or balancing that privacy and monitoring of safety? 

CASEY THORPE: I’d just say that everything – I guess it’s about setting those clear expectations before you open up that online world to your young person. Online contracts, they can be really useful to set out those expectations, but again they don’t replace that ongoing and frequent conversation about what’s happening in their online world. I also think in terms of privacy, part of the expectation setting for parents is to say, ‘If I don’t think that you’re safe there may be some level of monitoring that I will have to do to make sure that you’re safe.’ So I think that’s reasonable. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: And Riley, any other points to add on that topic? 

DR RILEY SCOTT: From the research we know that the potential risks of online interactions are actually greater at the stage of earlier adolescence than they are in later adolescence and in young adulthood. So definitely keeping in mind the monitoring and discussions and education around that at the earlier stages is really key, with of course more autonomy and agency being given to young people as they grow up as well. So we’ve touched a little bit on the maturity level of young people and age-appropriate use, and what that actually looks like really does depend on each individual adolescent. So keeping in mind their maturity level, their understanding of risks and consequences, their ability for self-regulation, all of these things are really important, and the people working directly with or living with young people will know their adolescent the best, and using that information, and really, as Casey’s already said, keeping the open conversations and safe space available to talk is really critical. 

Just one note on the online contracts as well. Of course setting expectations and boundaries and having conversations is really important, I would just be mindful of the language used. Say for example we use the word online contract, if a young people feels like in some way they are in breach of that contract, like Casey mentioned before they may be more likely to become more secretive or not come to you in fear of negative consequences or punishment if their devices will be taken away or if their internet will be turned off or something like that. So just being mindful about that, and what it looks like if something goes wrong. Also having those conversations is important just to make sure that the space for open communication is still there. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: I think that’s a fantastic point. I think taking the time to think about what advice you’re going to give and what that will mean, and understanding that from the perspective of the young person receiving that advice as well to make sure it’s not going to have an unintended negative side effect. So I think that’s wonderful. Unfortunately we’ve run out of time. Apologies, we’ve only been able to do the one question from the audience, but we will reconvene afterwards and record some more answers to some other questions. Wow, phew. That was so amazing, thank you so much to the panel. Riley, Casey, Hue, thank you so much for your time today and being so generous with your thoughts and ideas and perspectives. Thank you to the audience for being with us and for listening, and I hope you gained some really useful insights for work and home. I certainly did. 

Last but not least I’d like to thank the AIFS Communications and Child and Family Evidence Team who make all of this happen behind the scenes, in particular Erin and Crystal. Please subscribe to the AIFS newsletter to be notified when this recording is available. We also have a research snapshot in positive peer relationships and mental wellbeing which will be published next week and will give you a bit more detail about the research in this space. Also a little reminder about the feedback survey that will come through to you at the end of this webinar. We really do appreciate any feedback you give from our webinars, and often that helps us inform how we plan our future webinars. We really value your input. So we look forward to seeing you at our next webinar which is next week, and it’s on supporting family and child mental health in the face of severe weather events and disasters. Take care and we’ll see you again soon. 

[Pause]

DR MANDY TRUONG: Welcome back to our Q&A. We’re going to talk through some questions that came through the live webinar through the audience dashboard. Welcome again Riley, Casey and Hue. Our first question is how do online peer forums and interactions help build confidence among young people in these interactions, but also in offline interactions with other peers and non-peers such as adults and parents? How about you first Hue. 

HUE DWYER: I think that like what we touched on a bit before, it’s really good for the confidence of young people that could be neurodivergent or have social anxiety, it’s really good for them to practice talking to people. And it’s also really beneficial for offline relationships in like references, being able to send each other videos or memes or something. I think that it’s really beneficial in that way and for building confidence. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Great. Casey, what are your thoughts on this? 

CASEY THORPE: I’ll just add to Hue there saying around there’s a lot of validating factors with online interactions. It’s continuing that interaction into home time, that can be really beneficial. It’s also validation from likes and things like that, they are there – they’re beneficial, they don’t replace your other interactions but definitely can be very validating for young people and build their confidence. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Great, thanks Casey. And Riley, anything further to add from you? 

DR RILEY SCOTT: Yeah, I think a lot of confidence can be found and built online. Like I mentioned earlier we do consider the benefits of online interactions particularly among young socially vulnerable youth. So in my research for example I can talk to the social anxiety and experiences of social anxiety. What we’ve found in some qualitative research where we actually asked young people to describe the differences in their interactions online and face-to-face is that younger people with more social anxiety, so tending towards the higher end of a social anxiety measure, actually reported feeling more confident. So they would describe feeling a bit protected online where they weren’t interpreting those nonverbal cues that I mentioned earlier. 

They also felt like they had a bit more control over their interactions, so they could kind of draft their responses and feel a bit more confident that they were giving what they thought to be an appropriate response to their friends where they were less time-pressured than they would be in a face-to-face conversation. So there’s a lot of opportunities to really, like Hue said, practice those social skills, to think about how you present yourself, and like Casey said as well, to receive some validation and support from your peers. So definitely there’s a space online where they can build some confidence that then translates into face-to-face communication when you have that positive sense of self from the online interactions. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Fantastic, thank you Riley. My next question ,and final question, is what advice can you give practitioners and parents who maybe are noticing a young person who’s online quite a bit and possibly becoming disengaged or disconnected with their family in real life, or even interfering with other activities such as sleep? I’ll start with you Hue. 

HUE DWYER: Ooh. See I’m an only child, so I don’t have other siblings that being online might interfere with my relationship with them. But I do agree that some children start to disengage with their families for interactions online instead. I think Casey covered this in the webinar, I think it’s really important to set a good example for your kids and not also be disengaging with social media, because that does happen a lot for the parents and they think it’s okay if I do it. But I think it’s also really important to find strategies that might work for you. Like making things less interesting like making a black and white screen is what someone said before. And just knowing what you think will help you or help your child because you know your child the best. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Great, fantastic advice Hue. Thank you. Any additional thoughts to add Casey?

CASEY THORPE: Yeah, this reminds me of a story that one of my practitioners was telling me about the other day around a young person he’s working with. She’s been having a bit of trouble sleeping at night and didn’t have the best sleep hygiene so we started to explore what that looked like for her, and she let my practitioner know that she’s on her phone at nighttime, and she’s often talking to people who she speaks to online. And he sort of dug into that a bit more around, ‘How many people are you speaking to online?’ and she said she’s actually speaking up to 50 people online at a time. So really, really extensive amount of people, and a lot of interaction, which is quite distracting. So he had a really good way of speaking to her about that, he said, ‘Imagine that you had 50 people standing in your bedroom all wanting your attention, all wanting your responses to questions, to things, and imagine what that would feel like.’ 

So through that activity she was sort of able to identify that it would actually be really hard to relax in a room that was full of people wanting all of that attention from you. So yeah, it was a great way – I really loved the way he approached that with her, and from that it opened that conversation around, ‘How do we limit that?’ We told her about the do not disturb settings on her phone, things like setting those healthy boundaries with friends that, ‘This is my bedtime, this is when I’m not available’, and really having those good interpersonal boundaries. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Thanks Casey, that’s a really powerful example, case study, thanks for sharing that. And finally Riley, any thoughts to add please? 

DR RILEY SCOTT: Yeah, I think it can be really challenging to navigate how much time is too much time online when it does start to interfere with our relationships at home, our sleep times and boundaries around that as well. I’ll speak to briefly what the research says in this space, and we do see from young people a lot of reports about the convenience of online interactions leading to a sense of pressure to always be available. So like Casey said, feeling like you have to respond to everybody, and feeling like you need to be available as soon as a notification comes up on your phone. It can be very overwhelming, and practical advice around that would be to set quiet hours, you can set your time on your phone where notifications just don’t come up or use do not disturb to actually limit just the number of times – 

There’s many reports of adults and adolescents experiencing ghost notifications where you just think your phone’s vibrated so you go and reach for it and grab it, and that sense of urgency to respond and to be available is a real thing. There’s also a concept coming out in the literature called technoference which is the interference of technology in our relationships. Some people also call it phubbing which is snubbing people with your phone. So it’s really interesting to think about the fact that these are such common experiences that it’s now really coming out in the research and we do develop terms to refer to them. Setting the boundaries and really thinking about what it means for your quality of your relationships face-to-face does help sometimes to engage a little bit more mindfully and intentionally with the media and your phone or social media when you’re using it. 

But also to set boundaries and really think okay, I want to be present, I want to be here in my interactions when you are face-to-face with people. So having those conversations again and really thinking about the expectations of what it means to maybe sit at the dinner table together at night without phones, and to have time in your bedroom at night where you’re not on your phone before you go to sleep. Those things are really important to be navigating and definitely should be part of the conversations around safe and healthy social media and internet use. 

DR MANDY TRUONG: Great, that’s wonderful. Thanks Riley, I learnt some new words. Certainly our culture has shifted a lot hasn’t it in recent times, so that’s all really useful advice. Thank you again Riley, Casey and Hue, really appreciate your time today in answering some extra audience questions. Thank you very much, see you next time.